Seize the Opportunity

I missed Tuesday’s class last week because I was in Ohio for my aunt’s funeral. My aunt unexpectedly passed away on my birthday and this last week and come that next morning I found myself packing for a trip out to Ohio. As I traveled there I carried with me my own recent experiences of losing my nan, my mom, and the man I was in love with all in a matter of six months. My new perspective of pain and loss was valuable in aiding me to be there for those relatives that where hurting and experiencing loss for the first time. While my cousin’s struggled with the loss of their mom, their children discovered loss for the first time also while saying good-bye to their Mimi. While the younger grandchildren were not shy to cling to my side and hang from my leg, the teenagers were a little more timid. It was the three teenage grandchildren that I had to move towards and make attempts to connect with if any connection was going to be made. I am aware that these three teenage boys have all had a rough upbringing and two of them were even homeless and raised in a car when they were very young. They have experienced great hurt, and now I could see them hurting over the death of their Mimi.
I saw one particular teen boy gravitate towards me and reached back to meet him in his place of need and pain. I was the stranger, the cousin he didn’t even really remember because he lived with his father and I hadn’t seen him since he was very young. I was also strange and unfamiliar to him in other ways. I offered words of encouragement and compassion instead of the criticism that he is familiar with. I offered hugs and soft words instead of the raised aggravated voice of disapproval that most teens are use to hearing. This boy responded to it love and craved this positive attention. The morning I was leaving to go back to NJ, he was also leaving to go back to his dad’s house in the ghetto. He didn’t have to come right out and say it but his eyes and body language revealed his sadness to leave the safe place he had found in me over the weekend. He was saying goodbye to the one person that frequently asked how he was feeling and listened, while offering concern and encouragement. He is an amazingly sweet kid given all the odds that have worked against him. He was raised in a car while he was very young and has endured many difficulties since then. He is continually exposed to more then most other 14 boys that I know and many of them are still angry and rebellious, yet his heart remains soft and open for correction and love.